| Signal man's test |
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"
Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever," answers Tom.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
"Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Tom argues, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"Oh, well," says Tom, "in that case I'd run into town and get my Uncle Leo."
This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash!"
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Baking funeral
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.
Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at him.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. |
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