| If you love something |
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If, however, it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money, and never appears to have noticed that
you actually set it free in the first place,
You either married it or gave birth to it!
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Baking funeral
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.
Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at him.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. |
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